Just do what's Right

It’s been a rough week I’ll have to say. And it’s not even close to being over, matter of fact it just started. Yesterday was the longest day yet. I got nothing I wanted accomplished, went to bed to late (apparently not doing things I needed to do) Woke up wrong (trying to get right) I hurt all over, feel a little sickly, and my list is growing of things to do continuing from yesterday (if you didn’t know it was Monday). I want to try to stay positive here, because I do have a long week ahead. And I look forward to Girls Poker Night Friday!! Something I plan on doing at least once a month from here on out with special friends (and a few new ones here and there).
I wanted to continue the #2 thing I learned last weekend. – Being Honest no matter what – that seems to be the hardest for a lot of folks. Putting yourself in check before your mouth even opens takes practice. It does go with the emotion part I spoke of before, and it fits in 2 ways. The first one is if you’re emotionally attached to something you usually speak the truth or rather belt it out. And the second one is you get too emotional with it and start forgetting who you are, where you are and who you are talking to. Therefore you start saying things before thinking about it. And I think I’ll add one more here – you are self centered and don’t care how you come off to others and only about making your self feel good. 2 outta three of these I already new and 1 I learned this pass week (well I really did know I just learn more about it and still stuns me every time) Starting with…..

Honesty: fairness and straightforwardness, uprightness (not up righteous), sincerity, frankness, freedom from deceit or fraud, refusal to lie, steal or deceive in anyway.
Lots of people know some of these, and some you probably never thought of. As a person you should WANT to uphold these things. It takes you to better places, in life, in spirit, in love, and with GOD. Something my mother always said to me and still says. “Just do what’s right”. I’ve heard people ask how do you know what’s right, well what does your conciseness tell you? What does your gut tell you? Do you have morals or values? Manners? It’s not what your emotions what you to do. We can be emotional about something, we want to react a certain way forgetting what we should really be doing. We don’t know someone else’s story, why they may be a certain way, why they might do something. We may only know what they have just done and it has struck a nerve with us. So we want to belt out the truth the truth we know. Offending before we know their truth. So what do you do? “do what’s right”!!!!! Hold your breath (or breathe slowly for a minute) collect yourself; collect your thoughts and your emotions. How do you want to be talked to? How do you want to be taken care of? And how do you want someone to help you or handle you? Give them the truth but be gentle, help them see the truth for them and don’t attack them with yours. So it goes back to do unto others as they would to you. Hard sometimes, I’ll admit. I’ve often wanted to poke someone in the eye for doing or saying what they did. Prime example and second point: I need to fill a antibiotic and there is some confusion with my rebate card. I’m pretty irritated and confused and well done right getting mad I’ve been to two different places talked to several people on the phone, and there’s some I don’t care attitudes. Lady ask me if that’s what I wanted to do. Instead of acting a fool which I wanted to do because I was so mad. I simply said, “can you give me a minute I’m pretty upset right know” she said “okay and walked away” as did I. Once my guts stop burning I walked back to talk to her. It’s not her fault that prescriptions cost so much, it’s not her fault insurance isn’t what it use to be. And it isn’t here fault the people at the rebate discount card didn’t explain everything upfront! So I had no business being rude to her, that’s the honest ness of it. Saying “hey I’m upset can you hold on a moment!” However the attitude of two different stores same pharmacy seemed to not really want to explain everything to me and just say “that’s that”. Which is whole another story about customer service and the there lack of it. Even from the time I was in high school till now what a change!!

Or how about when someone communicates with you and you get tied up and forget. Don’t make excuses. Everyone is busy too!! I may not have little ones yet but there are weeks I can’t or don’t get to sit down till its bed time and I’m late for it. Which, means I forgot to call you back or answer your question. So it may be a day or so, when it pops in my head and I remember. But I’ll remember and get back to you. So if that happens to you it’s okay I ‘ll understand! But please be honest and just say I forgot I’m sorry. We often forget that something might be going on with others we just assume they are being rude. (me too sometimes but this is part of the learning) But I’ll say if I never get a response and then I get a chew down for not answering you back quickly. I’ll be a bit frazzled about it. I don’t do things in spite of. EVER! It’s not right, and although I would like to just ignore you or do something ugly. I don’t “just do what’s right” NO MATTER WHAT!! That’s what I was taught, so I’ll answer you in a days time when I’ve taken my breath and thought of the mature way to respond.

That’s both, too emotional, forgetting what reality is and stopping before hand. So the lucky one I threw in there goes along with all of these. This last one might seem the same and in ways it is. BUT! There’s a point here I need to point out.

Honestly verse Selfish Honesty:What a combination huh!?! It continues to stun me even though I run into it all the time. I usually can’t come to any conclusions about it, why it’s happening or even just plain comprehend it. Here I think of part of the definition freedom from deceit or fraud. I hear people talk about what they want, and I see in some of their actions them trying to do what they say they want. But I also witness the true actions. The ones you don’t think you are doing. People who know you see them. I do want the best for you and I do want you to reach for higher things. I want to believe you and what you are trying to accomplish. But…………..I don’t see your integrity in it; I don’t see you being honest. And it’s saddens me. Many questions where brought to my attention and it was good to get a new voice on the subject. But the more the conversation went on, I realized they felt the same way. I was not alone in thinking this was not okay nor was it HONEST, TRUE or done with GOOD INTENTIONS.

What do you say to something like that? That has been a battle. It stuns me every time. Because I see things (right and wrong) as things that mold who I am, where I am, where I am going and what others will follow. So when someone changes in such a way and I don’t see the honest ness of it, but rather a hidden motive. A lot of emotions run threw me. I don’t understand why you would want to hide behind something just because your selfish desires, it also hurts that you would turn still standing with me but know you have a cold shoulder towards me. I don’t see you being true, change is good changing your life for the better is good. It’s the part of not getting it honestly, not standing in it honestly, and not judging those who are not doing what you are doing.

Also, those who do not agree with something you have said or vice versa. We forget not to be selfish about it, we forget not to attack the other person because we disagree. Because we are being selfish with our truth. What we believe, that’s our truth. Sometimes it’s with people we love, people we are close to, people who are family. We pick fights because we cannot simple say “okay” or be calm and be respectful of their truth. Being Honest is okay, but a calm honest ness and a selfless response is often harder said then done. And here they all collide and our emotions step in taking over clouding our judgment, making us forget what the real issue is or the real conversation. We attack, the attack. And know we can’t communicate.

So I learned this week, or am learning to walk away from those who don’t hold their true, who are not honest. I will be here of course for them when they need and I will be honest to them about what ever it is. But I cannot let their choices bring me down, hold me in place. It takes an emotional, mental and physical toll on me. I wear my heart on my shoulders and people pick at it. I have a hard time saying “no” even when it s best for me or my family to say “no”. I will tell you calmly my truth or at least try and then I will walk away. I will give you the best knowledge and tools I have to understand me, you don’t have to agree, but at least understand me. When I was slapped with this cold hard ugly truth these past weeks I realized it’s okay to be honest about that and step away. Pray for them, and hope that their selfish ness changes and they can be honest so they can uphold their new found truth, integrity and freedom. And I hope you can accept all around you, even if you don’t agree. Treat them with the same respect. I’m doing my best!