Just do what's Right

It’s been a rough week I’ll have to say. And it’s not even close to being over, matter of fact it just started. Yesterday was the longest day yet. I got nothing I wanted accomplished, went to bed to late (apparently not doing things I needed to do) Woke up wrong (trying to get right) I hurt all over, feel a little sickly, and my list is growing of things to do continuing from yesterday (if you didn’t know it was Monday). I want to try to stay positive here, because I do have a long week ahead. And I look forward to Girls Poker Night Friday!! Something I plan on doing at least once a month from here on out with special friends (and a few new ones here and there).
I wanted to continue the #2 thing I learned last weekend. – Being Honest no matter what – that seems to be the hardest for a lot of folks. Putting yourself in check before your mouth even opens takes practice. It does go with the emotion part I spoke of before, and it fits in 2 ways. The first one is if you’re emotionally attached to something you usually speak the truth or rather belt it out. And the second one is you get too emotional with it and start forgetting who you are, where you are and who you are talking to. Therefore you start saying things before thinking about it. And I think I’ll add one more here – you are self centered and don’t care how you come off to others and only about making your self feel good. 2 outta three of these I already new and 1 I learned this pass week (well I really did know I just learn more about it and still stuns me every time) Starting with…..

Honesty: fairness and straightforwardness, uprightness (not up righteous), sincerity, frankness, freedom from deceit or fraud, refusal to lie, steal or deceive in anyway.
Lots of people know some of these, and some you probably never thought of. As a person you should WANT to uphold these things. It takes you to better places, in life, in spirit, in love, and with GOD. Something my mother always said to me and still says. “Just do what’s right”. I’ve heard people ask how do you know what’s right, well what does your conciseness tell you? What does your gut tell you? Do you have morals or values? Manners? It’s not what your emotions what you to do. We can be emotional about something, we want to react a certain way forgetting what we should really be doing. We don’t know someone else’s story, why they may be a certain way, why they might do something. We may only know what they have just done and it has struck a nerve with us. So we want to belt out the truth the truth we know. Offending before we know their truth. So what do you do? “do what’s right”!!!!! Hold your breath (or breathe slowly for a minute) collect yourself; collect your thoughts and your emotions. How do you want to be talked to? How do you want to be taken care of? And how do you want someone to help you or handle you? Give them the truth but be gentle, help them see the truth for them and don’t attack them with yours. So it goes back to do unto others as they would to you. Hard sometimes, I’ll admit. I’ve often wanted to poke someone in the eye for doing or saying what they did. Prime example and second point: I need to fill a antibiotic and there is some confusion with my rebate card. I’m pretty irritated and confused and well done right getting mad I’ve been to two different places talked to several people on the phone, and there’s some I don’t care attitudes. Lady ask me if that’s what I wanted to do. Instead of acting a fool which I wanted to do because I was so mad. I simply said, “can you give me a minute I’m pretty upset right know” she said “okay and walked away” as did I. Once my guts stop burning I walked back to talk to her. It’s not her fault that prescriptions cost so much, it’s not her fault insurance isn’t what it use to be. And it isn’t here fault the people at the rebate discount card didn’t explain everything upfront! So I had no business being rude to her, that’s the honest ness of it. Saying “hey I’m upset can you hold on a moment!” However the attitude of two different stores same pharmacy seemed to not really want to explain everything to me and just say “that’s that”. Which is whole another story about customer service and the there lack of it. Even from the time I was in high school till now what a change!!

Or how about when someone communicates with you and you get tied up and forget. Don’t make excuses. Everyone is busy too!! I may not have little ones yet but there are weeks I can’t or don’t get to sit down till its bed time and I’m late for it. Which, means I forgot to call you back or answer your question. So it may be a day or so, when it pops in my head and I remember. But I’ll remember and get back to you. So if that happens to you it’s okay I ‘ll understand! But please be honest and just say I forgot I’m sorry. We often forget that something might be going on with others we just assume they are being rude. (me too sometimes but this is part of the learning) But I’ll say if I never get a response and then I get a chew down for not answering you back quickly. I’ll be a bit frazzled about it. I don’t do things in spite of. EVER! It’s not right, and although I would like to just ignore you or do something ugly. I don’t “just do what’s right” NO MATTER WHAT!! That’s what I was taught, so I’ll answer you in a days time when I’ve taken my breath and thought of the mature way to respond.

That’s both, too emotional, forgetting what reality is and stopping before hand. So the lucky one I threw in there goes along with all of these. This last one might seem the same and in ways it is. BUT! There’s a point here I need to point out.

Honestly verse Selfish Honesty:What a combination huh!?! It continues to stun me even though I run into it all the time. I usually can’t come to any conclusions about it, why it’s happening or even just plain comprehend it. Here I think of part of the definition freedom from deceit or fraud. I hear people talk about what they want, and I see in some of their actions them trying to do what they say they want. But I also witness the true actions. The ones you don’t think you are doing. People who know you see them. I do want the best for you and I do want you to reach for higher things. I want to believe you and what you are trying to accomplish. But…………..I don’t see your integrity in it; I don’t see you being honest. And it’s saddens me. Many questions where brought to my attention and it was good to get a new voice on the subject. But the more the conversation went on, I realized they felt the same way. I was not alone in thinking this was not okay nor was it HONEST, TRUE or done with GOOD INTENTIONS.

What do you say to something like that? That has been a battle. It stuns me every time. Because I see things (right and wrong) as things that mold who I am, where I am, where I am going and what others will follow. So when someone changes in such a way and I don’t see the honest ness of it, but rather a hidden motive. A lot of emotions run threw me. I don’t understand why you would want to hide behind something just because your selfish desires, it also hurts that you would turn still standing with me but know you have a cold shoulder towards me. I don’t see you being true, change is good changing your life for the better is good. It’s the part of not getting it honestly, not standing in it honestly, and not judging those who are not doing what you are doing.

Also, those who do not agree with something you have said or vice versa. We forget not to be selfish about it, we forget not to attack the other person because we disagree. Because we are being selfish with our truth. What we believe, that’s our truth. Sometimes it’s with people we love, people we are close to, people who are family. We pick fights because we cannot simple say “okay” or be calm and be respectful of their truth. Being Honest is okay, but a calm honest ness and a selfless response is often harder said then done. And here they all collide and our emotions step in taking over clouding our judgment, making us forget what the real issue is or the real conversation. We attack, the attack. And know we can’t communicate.

So I learned this week, or am learning to walk away from those who don’t hold their true, who are not honest. I will be here of course for them when they need and I will be honest to them about what ever it is. But I cannot let their choices bring me down, hold me in place. It takes an emotional, mental and physical toll on me. I wear my heart on my shoulders and people pick at it. I have a hard time saying “no” even when it s best for me or my family to say “no”. I will tell you calmly my truth or at least try and then I will walk away. I will give you the best knowledge and tools I have to understand me, you don’t have to agree, but at least understand me. When I was slapped with this cold hard ugly truth these past weeks I realized it’s okay to be honest about that and step away. Pray for them, and hope that their selfish ness changes and they can be honest so they can uphold their new found truth, integrity and freedom. And I hope you can accept all around you, even if you don’t agree. Treat them with the same respect. I’m doing my best!

Love Sprinkles

Something’s I have been dying to write about that have happened lately. But after mulling the conversations over in my head, I realized that it’s probably not best if I actually put them on here. Which stinks, because I think they have good lessons in them. I struggle everyday with doing what’s best (what your suppose to do) and what I’d like to do. Reacting to situations is hard, and most of the time we react before thinking about it. Running on our emotions! Emotions are strong and vicious sometimes. Over powering our knowing of what’s right in our conscious. And I’ll be honest here; sometimes I forget that and don’t do the right thing. I’m not proud of that, we shouldn’t be proud of anything period. So I thought I could talk about what I learned and what I’d like to keep trying to hold true to my everyday life.


First, our emotions. They are powerful and overwhelming; they can take over clouding our judgment in anything. We also take offense if someone does something that we don’t agree with. Or says something we that we don't like and become cold towards them forgetting that just like we are allowed to feel that way, they are allowed to not think like we do. We don’t always understand it, and we don’t always want to be okay with it. We WANT to change their minds. Because ultimately we think they are wrong. When in reality they could still be right in their own sorta way. Seeing the situation in a different view causing what they believe to be right. If we hold our breath for a minute and then ask them why they believe that, we could learn something. It might even settle our stomachs. We shouldn’t be offended because they believe differently; it’s like when you’re married. You and your husband will not always see eye to eye. Sometimes we agree to disagree. And the final words being. “Okay” those four letters do not mean “okay” I agree. They mean that’s fine, if that’s what you say, alright conversation over, okay I ‘m fine with what you believe but I still don’t believe that. And finally “will see bout that”, ha-ha which with my husband usually means that. Not because I think I’m right, because I’m not always. But we usually have to wait for something to happen to find our answer on who’s right. And the best part that cracks me up is when we both end up being right. Laughing at ourselves and saying “hmmm”. It’s not about being right or wrong, really I have to clarify that. Our “will see bout that’s” are usually about whether the actions. Ex: we pass something with a price I say it’s something he says it’s something. Finally we say nothing (that’s our “will see bout that”) and when we pass one of us will say “oh it’s .......; you were right”…..and then that’s it there isn’t any gloating about it, there isn’t any “ewe I was right” we don’t rub it in each other’s face. Although, a joke has been made- team amylynn 4 team Scott 1. Ha-ha but honestly it’s silly and I appreciate that neither one of us holds it over the other, because that can be hurtful. We should have the same wanting with other folks like we do with our husbands. We want to make them happy we want to not fight with them, we want to have their approval, and fore most we try our hardest every day to make sure we try to understand them and our relationship. So for all relationships with people your level of eagerness should be the same. Well that’s what I believe anyways. “Love Sprinkle everyone you meet with LOVE or something they need that would mean love for them, even if it’s only for a moment, or something they can carry with them forever.

Summer's Here

I've been hit hard this year with the summer heat stick! Although, I live in Texas and every year is hot. This year seems to be taking more of my breath away then any other I can remember. And every year seems to be the worst I've ever experienced. (I"m not entirely sure that's true) I can't say whether it's the actual weather or me getting older. (1 vote for getting old) It also seemed to sneak up on us this year, going from one minute not sure whether to plant our garden yet to "great it's too hot" it really did change just like that. Matter of fact one day it was in the 50's and two days later 80's. So I don't know for sure if our garden will be worth the money and time we spent in it this year. I keep praying will be able to get something out of it.

We also went fishing this weekend which ended up not so great, we came home with 1 fish! How's that?!?! But let me tell you the story of how we got this one fish!

First Scott has wanted to fish for several weeks now, but due mostly to high winds we haven' t made it out there yet. So finally it's calmer and we decide to go Sunday morning. He wakes me up at 2:45 am, I throw myself in clothes jump in the front seat and slowly wake up. We grab our breakfast and hit the road for our...........2 HOUR trip to the lake of his choosing. I took a pillow just in case!

Being that's it's that early and we are pulling a boat, I really have a hard time falling back asleep. Even though the vibration of the car clearly makes me want too. The pure and over whelming anxious feeling and alittle bit of fear makes me stay awake. Not that I don't trust him driving, but it is however 2:45 in the morning! People are crazy drivers!!

We get all the way to Terrell, I remember looking at the speed sign and then over to our speed. Not 2 minutes later he is saying we are getting pulled over. I'm like " really? for real" he says "yep!"
goodness gracious, so the cop comes up and asks for his info and says "where are you coming from?" ...."waxahachie" the officer says "where?" oh I almost laughed out loud not because he didn't know where it was or wondered himself if he had heard something wrong. But because if you knew how many times I've heard someone say that you would laugh too. FOLKS who even live very close to our town have said "where?" So I'm amused! "He says do you know the reason I pulled you over?" silly question if you ask me. So he proceeds to tell us the trailer lights on the boat are not working. OH, and by the way your license plate is hanging wrong.......and do you know how fast you were going? Of course he says no. Office says, and I quote! "speed limit was 35, and you were going 60, were you aware of that?" I'm sitting in passenger seat and I"m not sure if he saw me or not, but I made a face frowned and thought was the officer sleeping? or crazy? I don't like pompous cops, and I don't like ones who stretch truths just to see what you'll say. And who argues with the cop usually gets in more trouble, so they stomp on you because they can! He leaves comes back says "go ahead and step out of vehicle."
PEOPLE, I thought I was going to have a hard attack!!! I thought surly they are not arresting him for something. He has already fibbed about the speed what's he trying to get Scott on now??? And that's about the time I noticed the second cop car. WHAT!!! They called back up. Look I'm not one to get pulled over, and if I do it's usually something small, and several several years apart. (Knock on wood I don't get pulled over today now that I've said that!) But it seems like the attitude of cops stinks! Sure they need to be cautious I get that, but do they have to sound so stinking ugly? Can they not just be stern? I want to pee my pants nearly everytime I've ever been pulled over and my heart usually jams up into my throat and my guts are on fire. It's just not a pretty sight to be honest.
I twiddle my thumbs, take small sips of my coffee move couple things check the side mirror couple times. FINALLY he comes back to the truck gets in says "we can't leave til we fix the lights"

WHAT?? as I see the two cops take off in different directions leaving us there off on a side road in the dark. HOW are we going to fix this? No store is open!! So we spend the next what seemed like even longer minutes (in reality it prob wasn't that long) while he tried to figure out why they weren't working. Once he did Scott jumps in the truck and says "he didn't say anything bout both sides did he?" OH, I laughed again, for some reason one side wouldn't work. We head off back on the road to the lake and I say "I don't know what he meant but hurry up and get outta here, and don't speed" HAHA! And just to note, Scott was not going 60 miles in a 35! He got a verbal warning. And again it justifies my saying they say what they want to see what you'll say.

We get to the lake finally and we pay our fee to the envelope box. Because the park is not really open, but they have it so you can self pay if no ones in the office. We drive up to the gate........................it's locked!
I'm like unbelievable! So Scott's drives back around thinking maybe there's a code up on the board where you pay, and another car drives up. They talk, come to find out this park (and the only one I know of) doesn't open the gate til 7am. If you are camping you get the code, or if you have a year pass. UGH! I say "what??? I could of sleep for an hour and half longer!!!" So we pull up behind the other car back at the gate. Shortly after a car comes up. We are thinking sweet! Let us in, thank you. We've got to get some shad before the sun comes up.

Guy pulls up unlocks the gate pulls one side open truck and boat pull threw guy moves the gate shut. "I"m like "HEY"! are you going to say something to him? "HEY"!! "WHAT in the world, let us in!!!!" the guy in front of us is talking to him too. MEAN man says "if you want the code you should get a year pass"
WHAT you big old' mean man? For real, you couldn't let two people in after they have paid? who are fishing too? Just like you?
I was talking out loud at this point, I said Mr Karma is not so nice!! I'm going to pee on your tires!
(not literally as if I could anyways) but I was so mad that he would be such a poo head AND never would look up at any of us in the eyes. Just rude!
So we settle back in our spot cause who knows when the next person is going to come. Finally someone comes, and it's another fisher. He pulls up next to us Scott rolls the window down and says "you waiting on the ranger?" Scott says " for someone to open" Man "you got a pass" Scott "no, we paid the self pay up there and got down here to find the gate locked" Man "oh, okay" and he drives forward........?????? what's that mean? make yourself clear please? He pulls up to guy infront of us, apparently asking the same. A younger guys gets out unlocks the gate and pulls both sides open all the way and locks them into place, gets in truck and drives off! "HE HAS OPENED THE GATES FOR US" just as the sun is starting to peak over the horizon.
We get to the docks load up get into the water, catch a very few shad and head off to fish. Following the places we should be, we find tons of other boaters already posting up. We sit for 2 hours and get nothing. Not to mention the minute we hit the water I felt sick! I dont' get sea sick, but for some reason I was feeling not so great. I went back and forward in my head "oh I'm fine I"m not going to throw up----Oh I'm about to throw up"! It was not good! Finally we got to a place and Scott caught a fish, I said "honey I think you need to measure him" so we did and sure enough we had to throw it back, but about 30 minute later he got "THE FISH" ewww he is fat! So I said okay if you get another bit I'm changing my rod. Sure enough he got a a bite but the fish managed to get off before he pulled it in! SO, I reel up and throw in.......Nothing! Then I get some bumps and before ya know it stinking fish steals my bait! Next my hook, Next my hook bait and weight! UGH, I'm done, I wasn't feeling good So I went and laid down underneath. We finished up shortly after drove round little bit ended up jumping in for a minute to cool off and we headed home. With 1 fat fish! Amazing huh, what a trip!

I was born a blonde- I’m a brunette

Ever wake up and feel good about the day, wondering what will be the excitement to capture you?
No, I usually wake thinking uh, why did I wake up!!?!! And as I drag my feet to the back door to let the dogs out I start thinking, MMmmm it’d be nice if I discovered it’s Sat morning instead J. And as I pull my cloths on I pause for a moment “do I feel okay enough to go to work, am I getting sick?” ……Oh I think not! But what wishful thinking I could stay home and not drudge threw an 1 ½hrs of traffic. Sometimes I wake up way to late because the snooze button is easier to hit then getting up. Sooo late and out of it, I have even put my underwear on backwards. (And I don’t mean inside out) I’m a grown women so it’s about time I wake up like all other grown ups with a full time job, right?

When I posted a comment about just that, many responses came in with "good luck with that". Amazingly I realized I’m not a lazy grown up when it comes to getting up in the morning! Good news to myself criticizing brain!!

I spend a lot of time in my head, maybe a little too much. Thinking about things, day dreaming about things, and a lot of over thinking things, and usually I’m talking myself down from the tree. Not only do I have expectations of myself I have them on every individual I pass by in my day to day along with people close to me. It’s often shattered because apparently others do not hold such high standards or values or morals. I give thanks sometimes and yell out other times with sadness that I was taught these things. I often question whether or not I’m being judgmental or actually holding values and common courtesy? My sweet mother would tell me “no, your right, they should not have done that” or “obviously they don’t care” and she will reassure me that I did the right thing. But, I still wonder who is right, or does it even matter anymore. My sister often asks me they same questions, what the proper way is to respond to someone or what to do in a situation. But last night I found myself having to ask her the same question she often asks me. Amazing we can’t help ourselves but we can surely fix others issues with wonderful philosophical answers.

So this morning I’m in a daze, and one of the men at work comes and asks me for something as I’m in the middle of something and I reach with my non occupied hand and search for what he wants only to see a paper I thought was it and realize he said “gas” I look up and say “what did you need” he tells me again. I laugh (at myself) although I don’t think he thought it was funny mostly because he wasn’t in my head hearing me talk. And when he finish telling me again he said “got it”………….I laughed “ha-ha yeah” I mostly wanted to stick my tongue out wiggle my fingers in my hair and sing "la la la lee la lee la lee la la"

I’m thinking they think I’m blonde. And I’m pretty sure I play it well enough that I fool myself sometimes!! See what they don’t know is I get all wrapped up in my head and it sort of becomes a trance, so if you say something to me it’s not that I don’t hear you….okay I don’t really I only hear parts of what you say. But only because the conversation going on in my head keeps rolling even though I try very hard to listen to you.

Which made me think and prompted this entry, I think a lot of folks think I’m not getting things. I walk around with a blank face (because I’m really somewhere far away), and often times leave a project in the middle of it because I’ve just thought of something else. I also read way to fast, last night someone sent me a message and I thought she said her “nana got arrested” well it was her “nanny”….besides that’s a whole nother story. It was really funny when I thought it was her “nana.” I laugh out loud at myself a lot, and I mean “A LOT”! My husband asks me all the time. “You telling jokes to yourself over there?”

If I could share what this little brain of mine thinks up all the time, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be as funny to others. I‘ve even laughed the ugly laugh out loud in my car……by myself, thinking about something funny. And I catch myself saying “you know I was born a blonde right?” I’ve got to stop saying that, over the last 2 years I’ve said that more then anytime in my entire life. Is it the age getting to me? Is it the urge to not be in this place called work that makes me act out of it? Which ever it is, I’m really not a blonde! I just like to think of funny things, laugh at myself, and think of the funny things people say and do but sometimes don’t realize it. Makes my days better, makes the ugliness I see better and makes others laugh. So while I won’t guarantee I won’t say that phrase again, I’ll guarantee I’ll do something silly again. Or you can be like me and laugh at me when you see me talking to myself in my car going down the road.

It's still here

I'm addicted to books, I feel like I just can't ever get enough of them. I hurry my work up every morning so I can crack open the spine and read. These people are real to me their lives are what's happening. And most of the time I hate that it's over, and don't understand whythe author hasent continued.....I've discovered triologies! One inpeticuluar is the Left Behind Series. Don't know why someone never brought them to my attention sooner. They are wonderful the story the people!! But besides that I can get emotional about what I'm reading and something that has struck a cord with me is this last book. The Help by Kathryn stockett. I loved the book, it was controversial emotional and gave me a heavy heart. I've finished it as of yesterday and I am sitting here bout to start the discussion questions for book group an In the back ground I can hear the guys here at work. Now I'll give you a small back ground it's a construction company we pump concrete out of trucks to make bridges and building.....
It's also a family own and operated business, it started back in the 1960s and there is only 10 people on the payroll.
So I realize that the men hear still talk to each other and others just like we are back in that time frame. And I'm sadden, that I work here, that I live here, that times haven't really changed and I believe that theres just so many more people in this world that we don't realize he hasen't really changed. I feel, see and hear people in their own little bubbles on how the world and other people are. Watching everyday actions of others is amazing, and wondering if that's really what they meant by what they just did or said. I'm am abit naieve in thilnking that others actually realize and understand that sometimes folks are doing something for a reason just the same as if you were to do it. And sometimes if not all you've done the same thing without carring what anyone else thought or whether you hurt someone. I try to stay aware of what I do, sometimes I don't. I get it emotions sometimes get the better or you. But over all I do stay aware of other people and why they may be that way, so that I can understand and hopefully not pass down the neg!

We are continueing on with The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, which is actually really great to follow with from The Help! So I'm excited to finish and look for ward to stiring up the girls with topics.

Waiting for offical Spring

I'm at work wishing it was Friday, and day dreaming about the different kinds of cake balls I'm going to make for Wine Night with the girls next weekend. I'm alittle frazzled because I'm scared I won't have enough time for what I want to do with them. I'm still having issues with my sleep and it recks havoc into everything I try to do or plan. But I'm working out a plan to try to make this work!

Everyone here is busy with nonsense we aren't busy today so I'm sitting here hoping rain will come soon so we can have a day off. I appreciate those days, and on another note of the weather I really hope there isn't another freeze I've very very anxious to finish planting my garden veggies, and bulbs oh and a few seeds. Potatoes and onions have been planted, and all though it feels wonderful outside, it's a bit deceiving when it comes to actually planting everything!

I've made some progress on the weight loss :) wish I could snap my fingers and it be gone...enough bout that.

My grandmother starts her radiation treatments today, she's s scared and I don't blame her. I hope mom finds comfort in something as she travels with grandma the next few weeks. It's going to be an everyday thing for 6 to 8 weeks. That's hard enough on someone not sick. Sometimes is awkward I 'm not sure what say to her, when I feel like there's a giant white elephant in the room and no one wants to talk about it. I should just be normal but I can't things are different. I barley have the energy to accomplish the daily things I need to (hence I was lazy last night) that I can't make it over there to here house to visit with either one like I would like too. I think about it all the time, that counts?

Scott has found a new hunting spot and he is beyond excited!!! :) I went with him last weekend, we walked over 4 miles and some of that was threw slimy thick sloppy mud and water. It was fun over all but I was beat by the time we got home, considering we had be up since 4 am hunted and then walked around. Amazing by the time we got home it was only 2 and still had lots of the day to do something. Love those weekend days that go on forever!!

Projects are coming outta my ears at this point, I'm making pillows, and actually Christmas presents, I can't tell you what they are, but I will have pictures eventually. I'd love to make an apron, material has been bought but nothing in the making yet. I have scrap for the quilt that will be made but have decided if I'm going to hodge podge it or go with the pattern I picked. OH! And I'm painting a picture for the kitchen! :) I haven't found anything that I love, and the ones that are hanging are well just something hanging.
I've also still keep my writings going....nothing will be finally for awhile though
Printing the pictures from the wedding and putting them in albums, it's taking awhile, I guess you could say I'm just picky with something.....so I'm taking my time picking certain ones and printing them myself. It's so expensive to go some where to print them!

And we have tons of outside projects going on, Scott and I are making more planters, and redoing our waterfall planter....and he has an idea for some chairs!!

The book group is still happening as of now once a month. It's growing slowly, I've been really thankful to meet some amazing ladies and fill my life with friends!!

I suppose I'll jump back to work now

Customer Service

It's a Monday, as always several errands had to be taken care of. I had two encounters today that struck nerves. I like to try to remain calm so that I can always respond in the correct way. However that is not always the case. I first traveled home from work in traffic (that's a daily drag) and stopped of at good ole' Walmart just to grab a few things we needed. I always have stories about Walmart and the people there, but I don't really think that's any news to anyone who might venture into there. I've seen people post things from sites that document the craziness there. Today I darted for the first line that was open happy with my choice so that I could zoom out and get home. The lady started checking me out, when I realized I my debit card was not in my wallet!! Frightening!! She asked if I wanted her to wait so I could go get it, of course thankfully I had some cash on me so I told her to go ahead and I'd pay with cash.
I'll tell you I like to laugh at myself, and others when something silly happens, I make jokes and or just laugh at the funny stuff we do in our everyday madness. I've realized that folks don't think things are funny as I do. Some seem to have a permanent grumpy attitude, others don't seem to understand it's okay to laugh. Being embarrassed is one thing, but really we should laugh about it, because with out laughter I feel we are no good. It's good for the heart, the face, the mind and everyone else around you. Someone could be having a crummy day and your laughter could either make them laugh too or laugh at the fact your laughing. Which hey is fine with me laugh at me if you'd like cause I laugh at me too!
So this lady started lecturing me about leaving my valuables somewhere. Inside I really wanted to say "your not my mom, but thanks" I however didn't I have a slight head ache so I left her finish her bit and said "oh yeah I"m not stupid enough to leave it out in the open somewhere or leave my car unlocked" she kept rambling on, I can't tell you what she said because I didn't care. I don't like people who lecture about something when you don't know someone or the full details of the event. It's rude, it's judging. We aren't suppose to judge right? I thought we weren't I try really hard not too, sometimes it slips. And I sure don't lecture a stranger that way either. I'd probable have said 'oh no you didn't leave it in the open did you".....I realize leaving my card in the car isn't the best thing in the world, however it was an accident from earlier in the day. And trying to get home I forgot to grab it. I always tuck it away in a little cubby whole. I know she doesn't know that or why I'd had it out. But I felt a bit attacked from the way she lectured me.
Customer Service at our Walmart is not great...okay not even good. Everyone seems to be grumpy, no smiles. Ever! Kicker is there's a sign on the register 's that's new that has a picture of the manager and a number that says he wants to ensure great customer service and to call him directly if you receive other. Ha, I don't think these employees are happy at all!!
Second encounter of the day, I ordered lots of books from a book store. I've received all but one. So I called to make sure nothing had happened and I get a lady on the phone....okay I'm really not sure if it was lady or not. The voice was confusing, and on top of that they had a accent. I know lots of folks do, and I have nothing against them. Except, every time I call customer service anywhere, I think except my credit card place. They can hardly speak, or it's so heavy I can't understand them. It's very frustrating, if I ask what was said they get irritated with me. And I really am sorry I have to ask but darn it I really have no idea what was just said to me!!
As I left Walmart, I noticed a bunch of cars off to the side of the road. I slowed down and passed them, it was two cop cars and several vehicles. And a good handful of people standing the grass. But what caught my attention was the girl standing there and an older man, I'm assuming her father. Yelling at her, I couldn't hear what he was saying. But the hand gestures and head bobbles where enough to know he wasn't happy. The cars where in a very shocking position, the back car was embedded into the first cars rear end. And when I say that I mean like it looked like someone made a snazzy little place for this front end to fit in a perfect molded place for it. I've never seen anything like that, I've seen two smashed together, but not this. Back to the girl, all I could think was please sir take a deep breath!!! I know your mad and all sorts of angry, but that girl looked scared outta her mind. And rightfully so! But when everyone is alive and it's clearly not life threatening, think for a second when you where a kid and things you did? Have a split second of heartfelt conversation with the poor kid! We didn't have cell phones when I was a kid so we didn't get in wrecks because of that kinda stuff, and I don't know if that was the problem. So I can understand a good yelling for that, but completely alienating them is only going to make matters worse, I was a kid once I remember being yelled at, I ignored it, I cried and just got mad. And before long I yelled back because I never felt like I was heard, whether you took what I said or not, I just wanted to be heard! So anyways I said a little prayer for them and that they might all take a deep breath before continuing to speak.

So welcome Monday today! It wasn't horrible at all just not wonderful and I'm glad I'm home!

Boot Camp

So, most everyone knows by know that I started a boot camp. A basic kick my booty boot camp. I need to get back to where I was 5 years ago. There should be no excuses!!! I was in weight lifting and loved it by far! I love the people, I loved the hurt! I loved what I felt like when I was done!! Of course during it sometimes I was saying not so nice things because well you have to work like no other, and you always always push your self to the next level!

So i started on February 15th, that's right I by no means started at January New Years Resolution kick off. I for one, think that's nuts to target that day to make the rest of your year the greatest. See me and the husband we have a goal list we keep hanging on our bulletin board in the laundry room ( by the way great place to keep it) we have goals forever and everyday no matter what. Second I believe only 95 percent of people actually do what they say they WANT to do for the following year. Third again, I don't want some pressure to make some huge resolution and then well not do it. Because lets face it we have to want something, and most of us where pretty "spirited" New Years and woke up not thinking of the one thing in the world we wanted to do, but "oh man, I'm getting to old for this!! " and then we make some rash decision of what our New Years goal was.

So I didn't do that this year....okay my resolution was " to do what I want to do", Yep that's it. I want to make sure that no matter what I do end up doing that it was because I wanted to!! But as far as the usual goals people make I didn't.

So I started my weight lose battle Feb 15th by buying a scale! Yes a stinking scale, I don't like it one bit!! But I'll say my favorite part was when the husband stepped on it and then later came running into the room and said, " it doesn't work, it's wrong and it keeps changing" OH MY GOSH! I truly wish it were true and that it was really broken. But it's not! and the changing part well that's from us having to bend over more closely to RE READ what it says! Yeah not pretty People, But on another note very very helpful cause it makes you not want to eat a darn thing. It's the devil and the perfect diet all in one!

I also started by changing what goes into my mouth. Again not fun, I love to cook so I love to try new things, but most of all I love eating them because they taste soooo good!! Ice cream out, chocolate out, soda's out, anything fast food out, cookies out, BROWNIES out (so sad), pasta a dear friend of mine, teas cut down, coffee major cut down, water stinks, and the most saddest one of all CHEESE! I don't know if I've ever been sadder, sounds nuts that's okay, but I love cheese, I even love burnt cheese! YES! I dropped my calorie intake, I think I'm secretly starving !! But amazingly I don't feel like crap when I'm done eating lunch, and heart burn hasn't paid a visit since, so we are off to an okay start.

The boot camp on the other hand, HURTS! it hurts my arms, my legs, my butt, my stomach, and my fingers....my toes are a bit achy today. I know I know it will continue to go away each time I do it you say! NO it won't because once again I push myself each time and do alittle more, and add something else to my workout day. I don't wanna be stuck anymore, I didn't ask for this to happen to me, it's a punishment for me allowing me to be where I was when it all started jumping the line to get first dibs on my hips and where ever else it thought might be cozy. So I'm going to work it, amazing that it takes twice as much time or more to get something off that took a second to get on. Kinda like pants or socks you take your time putting them on in the morning but by bed time those things fly off like no one's business cause you can't wait to jump in bed and go to sleep! okay that one was a little back wards but you know what I"m saying!!

My arms hurt, and I think my hurt, hurts! We are suppose to work in the garden tomorrow and I'm thinking great work out with out working out! Cool, I like different things, but then I just tried to scratch the back of my arm with the other hand, actually while I'm writing this and somehow I got muscles in the back of my arms that I don't think have been awake for several years and that stinking hurts! SO  the garden will be interesting tomorrow, my job is pulling weeds!! WEEDS a whole giant village of them!!

So I"m thinking I"m going to go stretch and relax before tomorrow!

Change its Good

Every time a day goes by I think, "Mmmm, that was good" or "so glad I'm here" even if something doesn't go peachy on my day over all the day was great!
I laughed so hard today, at one point I took a deep breath and as I went to exhale I busted out laughing again. What a wonder full feeling!! Laughing is great makes me feel great, and alot of time others follow whether they understand or not why I'm laughing they still laugh (mostly at me). I also don't care what it does to my face, when I get old....er and I look at me I can say I was happy those are laughing wrinkles. I laugh alot by myself too. We shouldn't make fun of those who we see driving in our cars singing or talking. At least they are happy. Although when I see the guy bouncing in his car singing and jamming, it dose make me laugh. It's great when people hand out there happiness with out caring other wise what someone thinks!

I've made alot of changes over the last two weeks, I have never felt better. A weight has been lifted off of me that I can not 100% explain. Except, I'm almost there, that place I was not to long ago, that amazing feeling you get with even doing nothing. But your happy so who cares.

I stop all the time and think about what others might of been thinking or feeling as they reacted to something. My feathers get ruffled and I generally want to jump, but usually stop to think. I over look alot of what folks say because I can't get past why you said that to me. I worry that to many people aren't present in their lives enough to stop and list to them selves when they talk or react. And I worry that your feelings are getting hurt because I was honest, or that you feel alone because I didn't do something for you, saying "no" is a big deal to me, if you are capable then it should always be yes, being lazy is constitute as not capable to help out. I don't want to leave this world knowing or thinking that i did it all for me or my family. There's lots of others out there that need me to complete them. I was thinking how amazing it would be if we could take everything back to those times in the 40's or 50's when people helped and borrowed sugar!! I wish my neighbors were more neighborly that I could ask to borrow sugar, or milk. But I often wonder if it's an imaginative thought I have of what the people where like back then, I know not everyone was but most people where friendlier! Example: I went to a store today two story store, that has LOTS of people running in and out of isles and standing in the middle of them or just stopping all of a sudden, so I bump this ladies elbow who happens to stop right in front of me and of course I was looking to my left and I turned put my hand on her elbow and said "oh I'm so sorry". I really was, no big deal we both were not watching where we were going. She gave me a yucky look!!!! I smiled and continued, but in my head I thought my goodness I apologized, why are you getting your feathers ruffled? seriously it's not necessary, maybe she had a bad day, maybe she was hurting, maybe she was grumpy cause so many people were running around. Fine I take all of that for you and I really am sorry. We pro tray our emotions on others expecting for them to understand. But they don't, I just wish more people would pay attention to them selves and the people around them. I pray for everyone and everything you go threw. That one day you will be able to take it all with a grain of salt and focus on the important things in life. the stress is lifted when we do these things, mine has for sure!

On to the next thing. Valentines day! What a day, every year of my life I haven't really paid much attention to the day or get upset because someone doesn't attack me with love things. It's a sweet day nonetheless but really we should celebrate love everyday. Okay so I go to work, and go about my day, my sweet husband calls me right before he goes to work, and we say sweet things to each other. I am almost home literally right around the corner and I get a text, " hey lover"......(i) "hey luv" I turn the corner at the same time and I laugh out loud........his trucks in our drive way! He had asked off a month before, he was standing on the porch in his pressd shirt and all nice and clean! I walk inside and he bought me flowers, had chocolate covered strawberries and wine, the last bottle from our honey moon, he had chilled it while I was at work! And of course a card. Ha omg, that's why I married you, how sweet of you to think of this. I had got him a card and box of chocolate covered fortune love cookies! That was fun!!! I got ready and he took us to dinner!! What a sweet heart! So it may not happen every year, but I loved that he did that!!

Spring is almost here I can smell it I'm ready for fishing and out door hiking!!

Age is showing

I'm not sure what's worse, the white hairs on my head or the fact that I couldn't operate a brand new phone?
It's kinda embarrassing to be honest, I haven't been having much luck with my phone lately, between the "really I didn't get a missed call" and "what did you say I didn't hear you, wait let me move somewhere"!! I wanted to throw my phone up against a wall, thankfully I was up for an upgrade. I paced the store twice and the online store probably more like 10 times, looking at all the phones and options available to me. I'm thinking ewww I like that phone!! "whew, they want how much for that!!" OMG! Really? Why do they have to cost so much, and they never seem to work well getting close to your contract ending. I suppose that's part of the hidden plan that have for us, you keep buying new better more expensive phones hoping that it will be better then the next.
So my first two trips to the store were horrible, the people in there could have cared less I didn't wanna spend anymore, they didn't even try to help me find a solution to my growing phone bill plan. I left each time more frustrated then the time before and still stuck with this stupid phone. Which by the way won't hold a charge even a full day, I barley make it threw 3/4 of a day even 1 bar of power.
The second time I thought surely this can not be the service I'm going to get, so I went to the original store in our town the smaller burger king size store!! Why they built that huge flashy store I probably will never know, but it was not necessary.

The guy behind the counter said what's important to you? OH! well in that case getting all my phone calls and messages and being able to hear people. He sorta laughed at me. But that's okay, cause he was about to actually help me! Now I don't know about anyone else but I'm extremely old fashion when it comes to manners, helping others, and not jipping someone! SO, so far I 've had not so great of luck with these not so much younger then me yuppies working at these stores. Yet I probably sound like an old lady when I try explaining to them, but I still don't feel they have to get so snotty with me.

He showed me phones, and I decide on one, it has bells, whistles, horns, flashers, sparkles, glitter, and I even think a parade!! I'm not over doing that either, this dang phone had so much stuff on it, I wasn't sure if I needed to put it in a shadow box and saver it so it didn't get used and break, or get a genius degree some where. I messed with that darn thing for ever read manuals and messed with it some more. When you can't figure out or rather it takes you 10 minutes to figure out how to do something, it might be to much, he says use it for one week before you decide. Well the whole day I used the phone all I could think about was my old piece of pooie phone and how much I wanted it back so I could function threw my calls and text. That's sad considering I wanted to throw it up against the wall only days before.

THIS makes me and my age show. No I'm not super old okay not even close, but I'm old enough that all this flashy snazy new technology is over my head and I don't wanna touch it!

I walked outta there the second time with a phone that looks like one from 3 or 4 years ago, it's so simple it was sorta disappointing when I first started using it. But then I thought ha but I am using it and I don't have to worry about "OMG, what'd I just do, crap I hope I don't get charged extra for that" Cause I can't afford "Ooops"

Maybe next year or when ever I'm due for another upgrade I'll be ready for this fancy ever evolving technology!

So Thankful this Christmas

I"m beyond words this Christmas. #2 Challenge was to hold still and walk away. I have to learn to walk away and drop things and hold still before talking or acting out when something happens. What a lesson!! I 'd like to think we would all work on that, but I'm guessing we won't. And I'm betting it will be a struggle and never truly learned.

My great Holiday's that began when my husband woke me up on my birthday at midnight the moment my day started. He say's Happy Birthday, do you want to open your card? Ha yes I do please, but I can't really see right know, and I was sorta half asleep. So the comprehension at this point was alittle slow. But I managed to open it and read the wonderful card he picked out just for me. I'd really like to know where he keeps getting these cards? The wording on them, I'd say he sat and read a ton of cards before picking one out because wow! Next he hands me a rectangle shaped item wrapped in........FOIL! HA  yeah foil with a bow on top, I'd say I fell over with laughter but I was still snuggled in my bed.  he had talked about wrapping someone's gift for the holidays in foil cause he thought it would look cool. I don't know where he gets his idea but it was funny when he said it the first time. And then to turn around and receive it was even funnier!! :)) I unwrap it and low and behold it's a Intense DARK Chocolate 96% !! watch out people!!! Next he hands me a silver square shaped box. I open it and inside is another envelope shaped box, I unsnap it and there it is!! A secret I've always wanted. Now it's not a real secret secret, but I don't think I 've ever told him, let alone anyone else that i wanted a round disk silver pendant. And yet here I am starring at it with earrings to match!. Solid sterling heavy might I add very pretty pendant!! I LOVE IT! what a great way to start my birthday off. Going back to sleep was alittle rough but I managed :) I wake up to the smell of ...... Banana Pancakes! YES! When we first started dating he would make them for me when ever I would come over in the mornings, and life happens and I haven't had them in almost a year. I've mention'd them several times just in general over time. Can I say my guy listens when I least expect it!! I 'm off to work feeling the love, and who cares if no one else remembers today because I won't forget it!
All day when ever I would speak to him on the phone he would say Happy Birthday, I believe he told me more times then I could count.
To top it all off a wonderful Girlfriend took me with her to EL Fenix for dinner :)) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

We had 3 family dinners to attend, I feel obligated to go to everyone of them, but sometimes at the last minute I just wanna sit where ever I am and drown the the silence. I feel busy all the time so I'm no 100 percent sure if I am ever really fully present where ever I am. But none the less we did have fun at all three. And no one fell off the crazy wagon :)

Inching Near

Over the last few weeks I wondered why I was tense all the time, and how come I think so much? I don't remember thinking so much but then again maybe all those thoughts have been lost due to all the over whelming new thoughts? Possible, but my main focus right know everyday several times a day is to understand what sent me into over drive with my thoughts about random unnecessary draining thoughts.


I miss those quiet moments and moments I could just be, doing everything without worry or thought and just enjoy it. Is it apart of getting older? A sickness? I feel it's a little madness and not the good kind, alittle Mad Hatter on Alice in Wonderland, but lets take it to another step and say the one in the new Alice In Wonderland w/ Johnny Depp. My husbands says to me this weekend during a conversation "whoo what? honey one conversation at a time" Am I coming or going? Ha poor guy, I literally carry on several conversations with you him or me at one time. Expectations I think play a huge role in the thought invasion. Expectations on myself, from others, and here's the kicker what I think others expect of me. And if I fail apart of it I like to quit and day dream about doing it right. I'm most unforgiving to myself and it's damaging. I can do better and I truly know that so I punish myself with not getting to finish accomplishments when I slack off and don't complete when my first deadline appears. It's very traumatic sometimes. And I'm sure I 'm damaging myself.


SO, I'm stuck right know right there. I don't wanna sit in my thoughts and I really don't want my thoughts sitting on me anymore. I start my personal challenge today, I stop carrying everything with me. I drop all expectations or rather the "what I think expectations" I have a goal list and I will just move my date as MK says when I don't finish when I thought and keep moving.


So day #1 challenge - throw away everything that you don't need, keep nothing that has a "might" need, use or do something with someday.

I will be gentle with myself, non judgemental and forgiving. And I will define my true value simple and true as it is.

Thanksgiving Cap

A very full week of Dinners and friends and family, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it but looks like I did. Dinner with the girls was Tuesday night and ended being a very emotional night. I raced home to shower and cook the sweet potato casserole I promised to bring. I never have enough time running from work to home to get ready for an event. Just not enough time. I left the house feeling a bit lost, and that feeling engulfed me as I got closer. A friend in need cried out right before I got there, it took everything I had not to turn around and go back. But I stayed put and conversed with someone about the situation. And we agreed to leave there when we were done and follow each other to where we felt we needed to be. I will say that the girls put me at ease as we all sat cuddled on the couch waiting for everyone to come before we started. We laughed so hard it was great to get my mind off things and just plain be!! As the night ended and everyone went around saying what they were thankful for it became a little emotional. It was my turn and all I could think was how thankful I was to have everyone there, how special they all were to me, to be in my life at the moment they were and at the moment I needed them. My heart was exploding with love for everyone. And I truly am thankful for everything I have in my life, and for everything I don’t have in my life right know.


We all left or more like darted out of there to get where we needed to go; I sat outside of someone’s house like a vulture. That’s what it felt like, but I didn’t want to budge, I was a little scared if I did I’d miss something. That’s common with me, I stay up to late, don’t sleep well, over stay at places, arrive to early and worry about what I forgot because I walk in constant anxiety that I’ll miss something. I use to not be that way. But over the last 10 years it’s gotten worse and reversing it is not easy. After leaning details of this tragic situation, sadden by the fact it’s not a shock but only because I’ve learned over the years it happens and no matter how young or old, or how much you think you or someone else is secure where they are, Your not! It can change in a heart beat, I go over my thoughts on how I’d handle the situation, but it never goes that way. We consume ourselves with so much emotion we forget what we should do. We reason with people that don’t deserve it and we ignore those who do. It’s a very toxic action we take as humans. But I waited there in my car, hoping that I could bring some sort of peace to someone’s mind. I finally had to leave and go home to take care of things. But I was on call from that moment and on. She finally told me she was alone and going to bed. So I left it be and went myself.

I woke up the next morning got ready for work and still had my friend’s emotions weighing on me. I did converse with her threw out the day, it amazes me the actions of others . even though I’ve seen and heard and experienced these same actions from all sorts of people, for some reason it still shocks me every time that THEY would do something like that? I guess even though we think we aren’t we are all capable of these same actions. What we allow ourselves to do is something totally different. Most of us control ourselves and we pray that someone else will take care of it, or guide us on how to handle it. People with conscious I personally believe suffer the most……

Dinner with my Dad side of the family is this tonight, so once again I rush home to change and get my food ready to take with me. This family is totally different then the other side, it makes me feel awkward. Like I don’t know how to hold my body or sit in the chair, or what should I say? I bet if I laid down and tried to eat my food they would all think I was nuts!! Some of the family it’s a no-brainer. But others I’d like to play a game of chunk the giant marshmallow and see who gets hit the most just to take away the tension and seriousness away from everyone’s or rather some of their presents. And there’s always someone new there that acts more confident then I do (more cocky and snotty) and I belong there. What am I suppose to do with that, I don’t appreciate it and I don’t really want to take it. The only time I am assertive is when I know that I know something or you’re at my house ! WORD. Other then that I dare not take that ego with me anywhere and spread it around for everyone to smack into, but hey I suppose it makes them feel better and they feel like they survived then fine. I just hope it shakes off in the future! Cause when I was at Walmart the other day, I really did see Giant marshmallows, like the size of half my hand so I'm really thinking about this game of chunking them!

Amongst the conversations at Thanksgiving the main one was acting like a grown up and behaving your self. Course this type of conversation would only come from my mom’s side of the family. We've always been smarties to each other, teasing and making jokes on each other's expense. But always on good terms!  It’s been several years since I’ve seen most of my cousins, we often spent summers together when we were younger went to school together. But over the years we’ve grown up and taken on a new life somewhere else and more times then non they don’t come back. The exception for their return this year will be left UN said for now, my heart breaks for their reasoning for coming. I don’t feel it was true and I can bet they won’t return until….

We joked for a week about surviving the day and what we needed in order to do so. Although we laughed and made those jokes, I was really a little scared inside. With our drinks and pecan pie and sweet potatoes in tow we made our way over to my mom’s house a wee bit early, I was thinking we were the first ones there but we weren’t. I felt a little shaky and I wasn’t sure if I should look at my shoes or load my cup up. I’ll have to say I’m not sure if I handled it all well at all. I’ll have to ask my mother soon what she thought. Thankfully, Shortly other people started to arrive and thankfully movement was everywhere so I didn’t have to remain still wondering if I was making a face.         ( I tend to do that make faces although I’m not aware of it, goes hand in hand with your mother saying if you keep looking like that your face is going to get stuck ! )          Heaven for bid it gets stuck like any of the faces I make, but they are truly a form of their own. And I’m unaware majority of the time, great conversation pieces sometimes though! Grandma came to say hi to everyone as they arrived but then she retreated into the back sitting room. Those that came for there reasons I’m sure where not understanding. Well honestly I’m not sure what they thought, but I don’t think they got it and I sure as heck don’t think they will. It’s like asking someone who’s never been to war, how they feel about it, or better yet ask them if someone who has and has sever trauma of some sort if it’s valid. They just get grasp it.

They were not in the middle of it nor did they have an open mind in understanding someone else’s pain and why they are stuck.

But besides that the other thing that boggles me once again, is how someone who has never met us, comes and is rude. I did wonder if maybe I was the rude one and perceived it the other way. But I’m pretty sure I wasn’t, I even tried having conversation with them. Making jokes, offered them something of mine. And they looked back down at the shoes and said nothing. I don’t get it, I don’t understand it? I wanted to make them feel welcome and not be awkward, but they stayed in the living room glued to the TV said nothing to no one. I want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and more then likely I’ll give it to you more times then I can count, but when it’s new people and you act in such a way it’s really hard for me to forget it unless you come back next time and totally shock me and blow me away. Because here’s the thing I will expect it from now on from you. I will take it as if that’s all you are    (what ever the action you may have given).    What do I do with that? On the outside I was my self though, I made jokes, played games, and had a great time!! There was drama I’m and thankful I wasn’t apart of, and I’m thankful it wasn’t drawn out. But sadden at the same time that family of all people can’t be open about it, the moment emotions rise everyone wants to run out and ignore it. It builds and causes more friction for the next time, and before long there is no next time.

Thanksgiving 1

As we all know Thanksgiving brings family members in from all over, sometimes stress and sometimes its a cause for medication. I'd like to think I 'm healthy and sound and need none, and I'd like to think that my way of order leads to no stress...but I believe I have been dropped into a new realm this year, I think I will be proven wrong !!! I feel alittle crazy coming on!
I felt a little sick this morning my throat is soar and I'm feeling alittle something, my husband says to me "dont' make me go by myself", as if I choose to be sick on purpose! I'll let that go this time, because this will be his first Thanksgiving with the WHOLE family on my side :) And I understand his not wanting to experience it alone. Thankfully I have been taking vitamins and I don't think I will become sickly so he won't be alone!

Today is Tuesday, my Thanksgiving has already begun, tonight it's dinner with friends, which I can honestly say was alot of fun, I have truly cherished all my new friends. I'm so excited and filled up with love with all my new friends, good whole sum friends. I've never felt so blessed to be apart of such an amazing life, and it's my life!!!
Wednesday night it's with half family, Thursday it's with the other half. Will get to that later!

For now I'm very Thank ful for my family and all our health, sane or not. I'm thankful we are all with in arms reach to travel home to be with each other weather we want to or not. I'm also thankful for everything God has given me. I don't think I could have asked for anything more then what sits on my plate today. And last of all I''m thankful for everything I have and everything I do not have. Because it's making me ME at this time in my life.

Pecan Pies

Every year I make Pecan Pies, I took on the task partly because my husband had trees and before we were married he gave me a bunch so it started as a new tradition. So this year We've had "" NO"" pecans off our trees. And for those of you who do bake understand that buying such things at the store is not an easy thing to do.....it's like pulling a band-aid off a really hair spot. Brutally Painful!!  To say the lease, $7.oo for 2 cups worth, which they claim makes two pies. I don't know who's making those pies, who's eating them. But I can tell you this, that ain't enough!!! So that's to much $$ for me to pay!

Thankfully my wonderful mother still had some in her freezer that we gave her long time ago. So a cracking we went taking several hours, but they're all done and I have pecans :)

I willing make these pies and I have some pride in how they taste, although honestly I've never tasted them. How 's that? I really haven't tasted them. The very first year they all were eaten up so fast I didn't get to take on home with me... So I thought well the way I made them and the ingredients I used must work so I left it that way every year and  I'm thinking what kind of fool would keep telling me they are really really good. Cause I'ma keep making them!!  they are mini pies not one giant one, I enjoy piling them into a container and delivering them like the thanksgiving turkey. Every year they are eaten up, most before anyone can take home any. Or eat right there on the spot. I promise myself this year I'm snagging a small piece to taste it. You'd think I'd have eaten one considering they are mini, but honestly I'm always busy and never think about it. I love cooking for others, so I'm anxious to get em to their destination!!

So I am going to attempt to make two large pies because I don't have much time this year :( and leave it be.....so until then I'm leaving you hanging

I'm never to old for this!

I went to a girlfriends house last night and three of us tried on dresses and talked about jewelry. Taking pictures and looking at them to see which ones look the best. Kinda silly if you ask me, and honestly I totally expected something different. You know hanging dresses from the door frame and saying "yeah I like that one", eww no!!" We have a 4 day seminar coming up and are suppose to dress up for a few of the events, like really really dress up, red carpet style!!!!

So anyways, I'm thinking this is so silly, why am I driving all the way over here again?

but no, there's a mound of dresses thrown all over the bed. I could not believe it and all I could think was "I'm not getting into that dress" WHY, I have to be so prudish I don't know, but it was weird and felt a little silly to be gawking over some dresses. And it made me feel  like I was in junior high...okay maybe not jh, but it made me feel like one of those silly girls I  use to laugh at. I never did anything like this before, prom, my friends and I didn't do this. Weddings not all, we looked for dresses and said okay looks good, or no it doesn't. But never dance around the rooms in about 8 or more dresses. (okay I didn't dance around the room) But we didn't try on a million dresses, for the most part we all went on by ourselves and did what we needed to do, no silliness.

How ever when it was all over with and I got in the car and got home, I thought to my self, " I"m not to old for this, that was fun!!"

We laughed, making jokes. Got opinions, and got to not think about anything else for those minutes.

Footless sleep

I'm exhausted, but very excited about all the projects going on!! First and for most, last night was our very first BOOK CLUB meeting!! I read a lot...I don't think that word really explains my reading habit. Sometimes I go through books by the day, I read everything nothing is out of the question. I love the atmosphere I go to. And yes there's an atmosphere when I read my books that's different then the one you stand in right now. I love the blanket of another time and place that wraps me like a burrito. And my poor husband, he often ask me " are you reading again?"

Sometimes I wonder if it's some sort of sickness to have ta, have something swirling in my brain. I am comforted by the book in my hands, the smell of the paper and the characters in the pages, whether they disappoint me or make me laugh out loud, they are always right there, I could reach out and touch them they are so real to me as I'm reading.

So I wanted to share it with others who liked to read and made a book club! We decided to do a new book every two weeks, ha can you believe that. They wanna read just as much as I do and want to come more then once a month! I love it!! So I've started rereading my book and have the questions ready and wait patiently for July 27th :) And our talk about EAT PRAY LOVE

Second my Tuesday nights are filled with my ladies, and facials! Which I love doing, I also love the thought and knowing that they are all behind me no matter what!!

I also have signed up to do Habitat for Humanity, which is very exciting all in itself, I've never done one but have wanted to for a very long time. I also have a four day seminar to go to at the end of the month, which will be followed by a week vacation, part spent in Conroe and part back home.

We have parties almost every weekend, and have been remodeling our house. Working full time and taken care of the house while my husband works over time is draining! I wish my car drove it's self so that I could nap on the way home, a driver would be even better sitting in traffic every day for 3 hours and having a driver would give me so much time to my self!! When I'm sleeping I feel like I still have one foot on the floor ready to race. My head is so heavy in the mornings I have a hard time moving it but I always wake up to my legs dangling off the bed!

War II

I brought this BB Gun home...on that Saturday we walked outside in the morning drinks and gun in hand and sat down and waited. I"m tellin ya we were going to get these squirrels!! Finally there's a squirrel, he gets to shooting at it, I never actually saw him go down but he says he got two of them?!? The whole time I'm thinking our neighbors think we are crazy, they're thinking those hillbillies sitting in their back yard shooting dinner or something!!

Next thing I know, theres one over here in the big tree, he shoots at it, shoots at it, shoots at it....finally he gets him to go down, the darn thing went to flipping outta the tree.  No more are around so we got to work on other things and go about our day.

I standing outside later on watering and I see this thing jumping around, I walk over there and its the freaking squirrel. He did not expire! It's sounds so cold hearted, but these things are very destructive and they are over populated in our neighborhood. So I say honey you need to take care of that squirrel, he says " a cat or something will get it", eww gross, that's not the point cause at this point I see him and I feel horrible now and alittle sick. And I'm double thinking what we have done, if I could ask them to leave I would, if I could hall them off somewhere else I would, we shoot around them hoping they will stay away, I put red peppers out which I was told will keep them away! Nothing is working!! They are ruthless!!! So I'm thinking there's no way I personally can "take care of it " now. So I walked away and I hoped my husband was right. The next day I'm outside watering the other part of the yard, and both dogs are going nuts by the fence. I take a look and this stinking squirrel has fallen (because he was trying to get up the tree) in between the fence and tree. So Ginger pokes it with her nose and he moves, he starts going up the tree so I squirt it with the hose, and Scott's says "what are you doing?" I show him, he goes and gets the gun. And shoots him, I said are you sure??? He says yep!"

Monday morning I get a call from my husband who is laughing now and he says " you know that squirrel?, well apparently he got back in the yard and dogs where over there messing with it, the darn thing grabbed ahold of Patton's paw ( our Boston terrier) and Patton was going in circles with his paw sticking out and this squirrel hanging on trying to sling it off. I couldn't believe what he was telling me!! Finally the squirrel went flying off of his arm, and he took care of it for real!!

Can you believe that? it's like a zombie squirrel!

War

I deleted my old account and started fresh with my in chapter of life.

I want to explain first hand that I am an animal lover! And that until your in a situation you should never judge until you hear the whole story...... :)

Beginning with my flowers, I have some very special ones...I know your thinking they're just flowers and they'll grow back. But these are some from my grandfather who has passed away, and bulbs planted in honor of a dear pet of mine that passed away. So I'm a bit attached to them. I got a call and I was told that one of my bulbs was missing. I'm like oh great I bet the squirrel's got it. (You know they love bulbs). I got home found it in the yard, figured it was to heavy for them to carry (it's about the size of my hand) and I put it back in the pot.

Days have passed and every few I get the same call "your bulb is missing." I 'm thinking man don't they get it the first time they can't carry the darn thing!! So I gave up on it and it is officially MIA. I told my husband that IT WAS WAR amongst the squirrel world and I needed a BB GUN like know. (Why we have a every other gun but this one???)
I think he laughed at me a little and humored me by saying okay.
You see we have lots of pots and gardens and trees in pots we are growing. And every year they dig holes in them, I suppose looking for nuts? Sometimes they steal my bulbs! You would think they would remember where they hide there nuts, but no they are I have concluded they stupidest yet smartest rodent I've encountered. They don't remember where they put their nuts, they eat the pecans off the trees before they are ready....and continue to pull them off and bit into it realizing it's not ready, they do it again. Hello you should be smart enough to understand if they first ones not the second one won't be!! Since your smart enough to eat them.

I have covered holes back up and come back next day and there's a hole there again? Really? do they not remember or smell there stink in that area?
Now, we have about 4 pecan trees in our yard, and yes I'm very aware that the squirrels have found their haven, but sometimes there's just too many and it's no longer okay, needless to say there is a million little pecan trees that came up this year and my husband is so excited, he planted them in pots and some people came and picked some up, a few days go by and I get a call and the first words I hear " IT"S WAR WITH THE SQUIRRELS" all I could do was laugh,. Apparently he planted some trees walked inside for 5 minutes and the trees had been up rooted. He was furious!!!

So someone at work let me borrow a BB Gun, and we have shot several, and I got my heart broken and fix all in one day but I'll have to tell you about that tomorrow! Good night